I had been in hurry to somehow complete my chores and go and meet my dear friend Vijay. Vijay was my dear friend and he was in trouble - I needed to visit him.
Vijay and me had been together in school and later in the college. He stayed just a few blocks away from my home - but that was not the main reason for getting to know other so well. We both, by sheer coincidence - we happened to find ourselves in the same kindergarten classroom - several aeons back. This accidental interaction got us initiated on this path of friendship. Ad by some unforeseeable magical hand, both of us stayed together in the same section/classroom for the next 15 years. Call it coincidence, call it sheer destiny - call it by any other name - at the end of the day, we stuck together. We grew up together. Literally! Right from kindergarten days (when we spilled out tiffin boxes on the classroom floor) till the point we starting giving a serious thought to our careers, we stuck it together. Finally after a long innings of 15 years, we separated to pursue our different professional paths. He chose Arts and I opted for Science. Time flew by. With time, came additional responsibilities - both at home and at work. This took a toll our bonding, so much so that what had seemed an inseparable friendship several years back to all - no longer felt so. It had been over 9 years that both of us had met each others - not out of any ill-feeling or animosity but just that our lives had taken different paths. We had simply flown with the flow.
Just a few days back, I bumped into Vijay at a local mall. He told me that for past several years, he had been out station and his parents's health has forced him to take this visit. When I enquired, he told me that his father was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Taken aback, shocked, I accompanied him back to his home. It was indeed a pitiable sight to see his father (Anil Uncle) being bed-ridden, lying helplessly. In his hey days, Anil Uncle, used to be a store-house of unlimited energy. On countless occasions, Anil Uncle had taken both of us on a ride, had taken us for a quick Samosa treat or that nice yummy ice cream party. He pampered us, as best as he could. Seeing him in that state was shocking and painful.
Over the next few days, I was a regular at Vijay's house - my guilty conscience of not enquiring about Anil Uncle for so long, goading me to act. Each interaction would be somewhere about an hour long, usually limited to some small topics on contemporary political and sports hot topics of that day.
One day, I still remember that day, I had just reached home from a successful client meeting. I had sealed a lucrative deal - and everyone in my organization was looking forward towards it. After all, this multi-year, multi-dollar contract could be our harbinger of good times ahead. Quite naturally, I, as someone who had led this deal got all the attention! With this glory in my lap, I reached home - quickly freshened up and left for Vijay's home to pay my customary visit.
After exchanging some initial notes, I realized that Vijay could have done better to taking Anil Uncle for a stroll every evening. How could Vijay be so lazy, I thought to myself...
Me : Vijay, you have not done this correct.... you must take Uncle out every day for a stroll (on this wheel-chair)
Vijay : Well.... Let me think this over...
Not to be deterred, I persisted ...
Me : you should act ... don't just think this over....
"Sure, Let me spend sometime over" Vijay replied, with a tinge of irritation
Me : No Sir - this needs to be acted upon...You cant be so lazy..... I admonished Vijay, with my mind still fresh with my success in the office, earlier in the day.
Vijay : I am not lazy...... Vijay was now barely able to conceal his anger.
Still unable to take this cue, I mindlessly blabbered ...."How could be so indifferent? Dont you have any sense of responsibility?"
"STOP IT"... Vijay was now fuming, his normally calm eyes now spewing fire....."Dont preach me on responsibility. I know challenges of caring of a terminally ill patient - but do you? You have been kind to spend 30 min with us every day and I am thankful for this - however do you even know anything abut our lives? When one person is diagnosed with terminal illness it not only cripples the patient, it also severely impacts lives of his other family members. Picking up broken pieces of lives and making things happen is a task in itself. Please dont give me lecture on "sense of responsibility" untill you have experienced this stress yourself.
I had crossed the line. Unfortunately, this dawned on me late. While I did visit Vijay's home on a few occasions later, this incident always lingered on our minds.
In hindsight, I should have been more circumspect. Suggest one may BUT one should not preach
